What Story are You Telling?

When I was struggling with love, my stories all had a predictable format. I was always cast as the heroine and the men I was with were usually cast as the villains. When I began looking at my love life and realized that I was not a victim, I decided to recast these stories.

To do this, I needed to look at the real truth of what had happened in each of these relationships. I started by creating a timeline that showed each relationship and how long it lasted, and who had ended it. Usually I was the one who called it quits.

Then I wrote down the characteristics of each man I had been involved with. I wrote down both good and bad things about each one, and I only allowed myself to write down actual facts, not the embellishments my mind wanted to add.

Next I wrote down my part in the problems of each relationship. For example, sometimes I lied to my partners, sometimes I allowed them to treat me in ways that I shouldn't have allowed, sometimes I didn't give them the chance they deserved. In each partnership, there were things I had done that contributed to the problems.

The hardest thing I did was make amends to some of my partners for the things I had done. This helped me to forgive them for what they had done, and also to forgive myself for the mistakes I made.

Now the stories of my relationships are much different. There are no heroes. There are no victims. They are just stories about people trying to find love without the proper tools.

What stories are you telling about you love history? Is it time to recast and rewrite? You might be surprised by the happy endings you find!

Marquita