THE Most Important Relationship!

This blog originated to help women in their relationships with men. The idea was to use my expertise, in particular my experience of failing in relationships, to assist others in working through their difficulties and finding lasting love. There are still many issues to talk about and many questions to answer for this topic.

The tools I have used and outlined here can be used for any relationship in our lives, most of all the relationship we have with ourselves. This being a new year I'd like to take this relationship off the back burner and bring it front and center. One of the tools we used in looking at romantic relationships was figuring out what we wanted from our partners. Today we are going to figure out what we want in our relationship with ourselves. To do this may take a little digging, and may even require a little self care along the way!

• Use a journal or notebook and write down how you want to be treated on a daily basis. We did this when we were writing about the qualities we want in a good partner. Write down what your needs are for sleep, nutrition, exercise, time to yourself, fun, relaxation, spirituality, time with others, sex, creativity, and any other items necessary for your healthy well being.
• Many of you have already done some of this on the way to loving yourself first. Now is a good time to really expand this into areas you may not have considered. If you are in a romantic relationship, are there any areas where you have slid backwards in your own self care.
• Now under each area you have identified, check off which ones you are doing well at. For me, I have gotten good at getting eight hours of sleep each night, so I would check off that area. Don't forget to give yourself credit for all the progress you have made since you began this work!
• Now take another sheet of paper and write down the areas where you need more self care. Under each area list at least three ways you can add self care in this particular area to your daily routine. One way I have added more exercise is too allow an extra half hour every morning to walk with my dog.
• Now this is one of the most important steps. Take your time adding these to your routine! Pick only one item from the whole list to add this week. It could be eating breakfast everyday or going to the gym twice a week, or initiating sex once a week, just make sure it is only one thing this week.
• Once you have incorporated your self care item into your routine and it feels like a normal part of your week, then and only then add the next item.
• Keep doing this until you have the kind of daily self care built into your life that works for you. Don't forget that nobody is perfect and be kind to yourself along the way.

Take care, and take care of yourself,

Marquita