Self Esteem 101

What makes someone feel good about themselves? How is it that some people seem to radiate self assurance in such a way that we are drawn to them, and want to feel the way they do?

Why am I asking these questions? Good question! One of the things I have always said is that to have the best relationships whether they are at work, at home, or at play, is to love ourselves first. My definition of self esteem is self love.

I recently listened to a CD by Caroline Myss on self esteem and I really love her take on what this is, and how to get more of it. Myss suggested that every problem in the world from a single relationship to global wars are caused by lack of self esteem. Her idea is that whenever someone feels there is a power imbalance there can be conflict.

Okay maybe that is a little more than you want to read in a relationship blog! But Myss's ideas about how we lose and how we build self esteem are worth looking at. She suggests this:

To build self esteem we need to take a close look at our daily lives. First, we need to look at how many times we let others take our power by not standing up for ourselves in some way. Second, we need to look at how many times we do something that puts another person down, or hurts them in any way. This is not for the faint of heart, because until you start looking, you may not realize how many times one or the other of these things happen. To really love who you are, it is vital to begin looking at how this happens in your life, and start the process of changing those two areas. I know that sounds like a huge bit of work, so I am going to suggest you do one small thing this week to start the process.

Each time we commit to doing something for ourselves, however small, and stick with it, we show our spirit that we care about ourselves and our esteem grows. Let me give you an example. Let's say you want to be more fit, and you decide to walk every day. If you follow through with this, you feel better about yourself and your esteem grows. However, if you start doing what is good for you and don't follow through, you let yourself down, and your esteem goes down.

To begin building self love for yourself, I want you to think about one small thing you can start today to create self esteem. Make sure that it is small enough, and doable enough that you will keep doing it no matter what. If you do this, I guarantee your esteem will start growing because you will trust yourself to do something good for you.

Go on, give it a try. What do you have to lose?

Marquita