Wednesday, April 30, 2008

What Sends You to the Moon?

Yesterday, I was literally floating on air! I think I went so high as to feel I was walking on the moon. This is the feeling I get when I am living the life that feels so right to me, I almost can't stand how good it feels. As I spend more of my time doing work that I love, and having relationships that actually work, the more often I have to pinch myself to make sure it's real.

To be honest, I don't feel this way everyday! Just a couple of days ago, I was cranky, tired, and wondering how to make sure I got through the day without causing irreparable damage in any of my relationships.

In the past, when my life wasn't working very well, I used to tell the people around me, "I'm not fit for human consumption today, so be aware that if you get too close, I might bite."

The one thing I have learned in life is that there will be highs and lows, with a lot of "life's pretty good" in between. What I need for all these situations is tools to deal with whatever comes my way. Here's what I have found works for me:

  • I start each day with a routine that works whether I wake up feeling great, or I wake up wondering how I am going to get through the day. I have some time for me, I drink really good coffee, I walk, whatever the weather, with my dog, and I eat a good breakfast.
  • I read at least one good meditation book and list five things I am grateful for everyday.
  • I have at least a couple of people I can call and talk with whether I feel wonderful, or I feel like dog doo-doo.
  • I let people know who I am. This is really important for relationships. I don't pretend anymore that life is always okay. If I am struggling or soaring, my partner, family, and confidants know the real me. I don't take my moods out on them, I am just honest about where I am, and this allows them to be open and honest with me.
  • I am coachable on a daily basis. I don't know all the answers, and when I need help, I coach myself, I get coached by others, and sometimes I get coached by someone I talk to in the supermarket who doesn't even know they are sharing their wisdom with me.
  • I work hard every day to be open to what life has in store for me. If I close up and am not open, I miss everyday opportunities to learn and grow.

This is what works for me. It may not work for you. I am willing to bet that you know what will work to ground you everyday, so that you can start off on the right foot, and some ways to pull you back to earth when you float too far into the atmosphere. Take a moment to consider this, and ask yourself, "What can I do each day to lay the groundwork to live my most awesome, stellar life?" And then, do it. Put it into action today, and see what happens.


Monday, April 21, 2008

The Importance of Dates

Whether you have been married 50 years or you just met last week, the importance of dating can't be stressed enough. Dating is a wonderful way to get to know someone, even if you already have known each other a long time.
Why is this? It is because when two people decide on an activity together, they are committed to sharing that time with each other. It brings the focus of both participants on being together and doing something they enjoy.
This may seem unnecessary in a long term romance. The truth is, the world today is full of distractions. We are distracted by silly things like work, children, money, home, family. Okay these are not silly, but they do distract us. Often relationships get put way down on our list of have-tos, and end up getting pushed to the back burner.
The other thing that is great about dates is that they can be about anything. I am an outdoor girl and although I love a good movie and dinner, I like to try different outdoor activities. One of the things that kept me coming back when I was dating my husband was because our dates often happened outdoors. We played golf, went fishing, went clam digging, hiking, and many other nature based activities.
Sometime it's fun to try something new, so be open to new things, and find adventure in dating! If you are single and meet someone, try thinking of something different than the standard date. This can keep people coming back for more.
If you are in a long term relationship, is there something new you both could try to add surprise and joy to your next date?
Let me know where you end up!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Cleaning Out the Cobwebs

The weather has been warming up and as the sun begins shining through my windows for the first time in a long time, I am beginning to see all the dust and spider webs that have accumulated this winter.
Sometimes our relationships need to be dusted off and the cobwebs swept, so that they don't become stale and lose their luster. My plan for this weekend is to spend a little time airing out my marriage and shining it up a little.

I have been so busy lately that it seems my husband and I have been going so many different ways that we haven't had much time for romance or spending time with each other.

We are both somewhat low maintenance as a rule. He is pretty secure in who he is and is able to take care of himself and his needs when I am busy. I am also good alone, and don't need to be constantly attended too. The problem with this, is that when we get busy, we don't get enough time together.

When this happens, it is important that we talk, and remind ourselves how much we love each other. One thing we always do is eat dinner together and talk about our day. When we get a free evening, we see a movie or take a long walk together and make sure that we don't put making love on the back burner.

If you are in a relationship, does it need some dusting off and sprucing up? How about a date night? Go out, spend time together, and make out like high school kids.

If you are not in a romance, how is your relationship with you? Do you need to call some friends and make a date to go out dancing, see a ball game, go camping?

Relationships require tending, just as flowers or pets do. If you are seeing dust and cobwebs and weeds, how can you tend to your relationships this week?


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Spring Break

It is time to give yourself a break! Yes, YOU.

When was the last time you spent time with yourself and enjoyed just being?

I was asking myself the same question earlier this week. I have (supposedly) taken the week off. My granddaughters are here as they are out of school for the week and usually spend time with me during breaks.

I have a lot of work that is also due this week, consequently the word supposedly. I have learned a few tools along the way for relaxing even during times when we are busy or have obligations to meet.

Here are a few of them:

  • Every day I get up a half hour earlier than I need to. This half hour is all mine. I get a cup of coffee, curl up on the couch and do nothing for the full length of time.

  • When I have to get some work done, I allow myself time to play first. This makes the work go a lot faster when I am feeling like my needs are met.

  • Make a list of all you have to do for the day and then Bag It, Barter It, or Better It.

  • Bag It means: Is this something that is really necessary for me to do today or at all? If the answer is no, then don't do it, Bag It.

  • To Barter It means: Can someone else do this for me? What do I need to do for them in exchange? If someone else can help, then Barter It.

  • To Better It means: Is there some way I can make this project more fun, or easier to do. If so, then Better It.

  • Lastly if you can't take the whole week off, then take at least one day during the week where you do only what you feel like doing. I am doing this tomorrow, as I am going to the coast and spending time with family, and just relaxing.

This week, where can you use some of these tools to make your life more peaceful and relaxing for you? Or better yet, what tools do you already use to do this? And how can you use them this week?