The Return of the Inner Lizard

Once you begin meeting men and entering the dating scene again, you may find that your Inner Lizard rears it's head again!! What I mean by this, is that even though you have worked on your issues and worked hard to love yourself, your reptilian brain still has a picture of who it thinks you should be dating.

For me this tended to be short, dark, and somewhat stocky men, often with an exotic and adventuresome bent. I had my list of what I wanted in a relationship, and I thought I was open to new ideas, and to a new kind of man. When I met my husband, he was all wrong for my Inner Lizard. He is tall, has light brown hair, blue eyes, and is pretty average on the adventure scale. Lucky for me, he had a great sense of humor and made me laugh on our first date, or me and my lizard might have written him off. He also met a lot of the qualifications I was looking for on my list, so even though I had a hard time believing this incredibly nice guy could be right for me, I gave it a chance.

This may not seem that hard to some of you who have always met and dated nice guys, but I found it very difficult. I wanted more adventure. I thought I would be bored stiff if I stayed with him. Over the first year we dated, I thought about ending it any number of times but I didn't. Here's why. First, I never told him about my misgivings, and he just kept coming back, showing up, being accountable and reliable, and all those things I knew I wanted, but found confusing. And second, even though he didn't look my type physically, when he kissed me for the first time, it definitely left me wanting more. Even though my brain didn't know it, my body knew the chemistry was there.

The point is, that after you have done all that hard work figuring out who you are, and what you want in a relationship, don't let your Inner Lizard mess it up. Be willing to date men that are totally different than you are used to. Remember that the other ones didn't work so well, or you wouldn't be reading this. Nice guys are not always as forward as the men you have dated in the past, they may not immediately make your knees go weak, but given a chance they can be everything you need.

Marquita